No longer pregnant. It’s official!

3 Sep

I had the D & C about two hours ago and am back from the hospital.  I am just so grateful to get this over with so quickly.  I waited a few hours at the Surgery department to get in, but it was worth it.  Much better than officially scheduling for next Wed. or Thurs. or doing an in office procedure with the drama of being awake for it all.  The nurses and doctors were all really really nice.  All in all, I am really happy with the experience as I know how much worse it could have been.  My DH (dear husband) just want to pick up take out for my first meal of the day and some groceries.  SO HUNGRY!  Since I did anasthesia they didn’t want me to eat all day, so I’ve had no food or drinks between 9 AM and now (9PM).

Knowing it would be a big day today, we waited to watch the final episode of the Soprano’s til tonight.  We’ve been watching the show via Netflix this summer and it has been really satisfying to see so many episodes back to back.  I didn’t think I would like the show, but I got totally hooked.  I think the next one we are going to try is Mad Men.

I hopefully will still leave on time tomorrow night for my trip back East.  Considering the drama it is tempting to leave a day or two later.  Medically that is what they recommend.  I haven’t decided who to tell in the family when I do visit.  I will definitely share with my three best friends.  Two of the three already know I was on the edge.  One friend who is a doctor was SO supportive and even called while I was waiting to go in.  She has just gone above and beyond listening and being encouraging.  Since she is in radiology she sees ultrasound scans all the time and has so many stories of similar or worse things going on with people.  She also has a great sense of humor about it.    For someone who has never experienced this, she really gets it and it’s been so important having her as a friend through all this.  It’s unbelievable I’ve known her since 1st grade.  I only hope I can be as supportive to her.  I am always thinking of ways I can somehow give back but she lives 3000 miles away, so it’s rare I get to see her and thank her in person.

My doctor mentioned that there wasn’t much of an embryo for testing.   That was the part we were hoping to get so we could find out more about why I am miscarrying.  It will take a month for that to grow and have any results.  Hopefully they have enough because I am eager to find out.  Apparently they only do this test once you’ve had 3 or more miscarriages.  (Unbelievable that they make you wait to have 3 before they start testing to see if maybe something is going on!)   They tend to assume it is a fluke the first two times and only after 3 do they get to think there may be a reason and not just bad luck.  I also have 4-6 weeks to wait for my period to start up.  In the meantime I get a vacation from progesterone and am totally skipping those baby aspirin.  I finally got the nerve to ask about anti-depressant drugs.  My DH is the one who really wanted them.  He gets the brunt of my bad moods, so it is as much for him as for me.  She said I needed to ask my primary care physician though, so I will hold off until I get back for that.

As far as support I’ve got an appointment with my therapist Friday after I return.  (When I made the appointment I was pregnant and had no idea what we’d talk about, but had a sense I’d have something to say by then).  We also have our RESOLVE meeting when I get back and I am thinking it is time for me to go back to the monthly pregnancy loss support group at Stanford.  I’ll miss next Tuesday, but I think I should go in October.  I’ve been busy with activity today getting ready for the surgery and squeezing in work and prepping for vacation.  When I get back and things calm down, it’s going to be hard.  I’ll be in that waiting place again, starting again.  I can’t even think about it right now.  I am just grateful to get this over with and have a patient husband who is willing to wait 4 1/2 hours with me at the hospital and then another 1 and 1/2 hours while I was in surgery and recovery.  The poor guy has had to go through this 3 times, plus all my other surgeries like the laporascopy a few months ago and coming to all the appointments .  I am so glad he has an uncanny ability to amuse himself in waiting areas.


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