From Down to Up

10 Nov

In just a few days my mood has gone from completely down in the dumps to loving life and feeling so grateful and lucky for all we have.  I’d even say I have been enjoying the child-free life.  Last night I even told my husband that I was happy to have the house for just the two of us sometimes.  I feel like I spend so much time unloading all my troubles on this blog I just wanted to recognize that I do have my ups.  I just wish I could switch from down to up a bit more quickly and maybe find a healthier in-between.  The key seems to be avoidance and distraction.  The more good things I have going outside of the TTC world the more I can enjoy the present.  I also have a healthy dose of optimism as I get closer to my ovulation day.  Even if it doesn’t work this month, I think the odds are good that I will get pregnant soon considering how quickly the med worked on my previous cycles.

A few weeks ago I was fearing those photo Christmas cards and now I feel ready to take them and even mail a card back.  I was thinking of sending cards this year for a change that are just normal cards with a positive message to folks letting them know how grateful I am for having them as friends, etc.  It feels really good to be in a giving and grateful mood.   I want to somehow bottle this feeling as I easily get into the bitter/angry mood where I lose sight of the fact that there are other people with problems in the world beyond infertility/miscarriage.  That said, I am grateful to those of you who read my posts and comment even when I filled with negativity.  Those comments really help me feel less alone and crazy and more present and connected.  Thank you guys!


3 Responses to “From Down to Up”

  1. Nelly November 12, 2010 at 3:19 pm #

    I’d be so nice to be positive more often!! I really, really struggle with that (hence my blog name – duh:).

    There is a silver lining in everything.

    I keep struggling with the idea that if I just LEARN the lesson God wants me to learn through this IF stuff and see my blessings that I’ll **POOF** get pregnant. LOL – riiiight….

    Keep your chin up girl!

    • starfishkittydreams November 15, 2010 at 11:18 am #

      Thank you for the kind words! I wonder about the lesson in this. I read the book When Bad Things Happen to Good People and it gave me a different perspective on how God fits into this. One of the takeaways for me was that God is there for you emotionally giving you strength to cope, etc., but in our imperfect human world, sh&^%# happens and it’s not worth blaming God. I encourage you to read it if you haven’t. It gave me a whole new perspective on my Christian worldview.

  2. Nelly November 17, 2010 at 9:46 am #

    Hmm…that sounds like just the book I need! Thanks for the suggestion. I’m running to buy it on now! Awesome to find out you’re a Christian as well 🙂

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