No Heartbeat. No Fetal Pole. : (

27 Jan

WTF.  I just got home from my appointment and damn, that sucked.  No heartbeat.  No fetal pole.  Just a big ass sac with nothing in it.  I am discouraged and not hopeful this will be any different than the previous ones.  We give it one more check next week (7 more long days of waiting).  I will be 8 weeks along by then.  If nothing develops, it will become loss #4  and we end it.

I am tempted to schedule a D& C now knowing the likelihood.  At least we’ll save the last minute scrambling and who knows, maybe that will jinx things in the right direction.

Right now is the time for those stories of people who had an ambiguous first ultrasound but good news on the second visit.  They say it happens, but it has never happened for us, so it’s hard to imagine.

Thank you so much for reading along.  Your support and encouraging comments have really kept me sane through this.

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26 Responses to “No Heartbeat. No Fetal Pole. : (”

  1. Katie January 27, 2011 at 1:15 pm #

    Oh my god. I am so, so sorry. There’s nothing else I can say. Please know that I’m thinking about you and sending you lots of hugs! ❤

  2. slcurwin January 27, 2011 at 1:34 pm #

    I’m so sorry about this. I had this happen with my last pregnancy but I’d refused early ultrasound (didn’t want to be paranoid) and we found it was a blighted ovum at 12.5 weeks. I know how hard it is but hopefully you’ll see some developement at your next appointment.

  3. bodegabliss January 27, 2011 at 1:41 pm #

    Oh no. I am so sorry. I don’t even know what to say except for that. I know you don’t know me, but if you need someone to come down and meet you for a hug that understands, I’ll be there in a minute. Just let me know. But I’m not giving up yet…Sending you love and good thoughts.

  4. misfit January 27, 2011 at 4:54 pm #

    Shit. This is heartbreaking news. I know just how hard this is. I was going to email you my ph number, but realized I don’t have it. Anyhow, if you need a very sympathetic ear, shoot me an email and I’ll catch up with you.

    So unfucking fair.

    auntmisfit(deletethiscrap)atgmail

  5. Stinky January 28, 2011 at 1:46 am #

    I’m sorry to read this, just hopped over from the Misfitblog. Its hard to put that feeling into words from those ultrasounds, when you are looking at the screen. Even if you’ve already been through it.
    I’m crossing my fingers that this is one of those rare happy endings

  6. Betsy January 28, 2011 at 5:10 am #

    I am so sorry. I’ve had a blighted ovum before and it’s heartbreaking.
    Hopefully, you will go back next week and get good results, I have heard of that happening! I also know how hard it is to be optimistic. Thinking of you!

  7. kmina January 28, 2011 at 6:07 am #

    I am so sorry… I wish I had some magic words of wisdom that can soothe and calm, but I have none. What you are going through is cruel and undeserved and tragic and I am very, very sorry you are experiencing this.

    It does not matter how many other women went through this, how often it may be as a medical statistic, YOU are now devastated and there is nothing anyone can do about it. I feel your pain and I wish I could make it easier, but I also know I can’t.

    Thinking of you.
    Hugs.
    Mina

  8. Alex January 28, 2011 at 6:48 am #

    Oh I’m so sorry. This sucks. Thinking of you, and hoping it turns around.

  9. Pundelina January 28, 2011 at 8:10 am #

    I’m so very sorry to read your news – it’s just awful for you. I will hold onto hope for you though, that the next u/s is full of good news.

    ((hugs))

  10. Leslie January 28, 2011 at 11:43 am #

    Hi, I am here from Misfit’s blog. I am so so sorry to hear about your ultrasound. I have had 2 losses and know the pain– although of course I can’t know your pain of facing your fourth. I’m just so sorry, and there are no words of comfort that will help, I know. I’m just sending you warm thoughts and sympathy…

  11. Andie January 28, 2011 at 4:44 pm #

    I came over from Misfits. I am so very sorry.

  12. Roccie January 30, 2011 at 5:56 pm #

    I am so sorry about your loss. I hate the wait. It is longer than the 2ww times ten.

  13. tasivfer January 30, 2011 at 7:53 pm #

    What a big pile of awful; I’m so sorry. Here’s to hoping you’re one of the lucky ones and next week’s ultrasound turns things around for you. ((HUGS))

  14. Rach January 31, 2011 at 1:15 am #

    I am so so sorry.

    ~x~

  15. My Bumpy Journey January 31, 2011 at 11:40 am #

    ((HUGS)) I am so sorry sweetie. I hope it was just a crappy US.

  16. Justine January 31, 2011 at 1:27 pm #

    Here from LFCA … I’m so sorry to read this. 😦 Please try to be kind to yourself … sending thoughts your way.

  17. cowgirltn January 31, 2011 at 1:34 pm #

    I am so sorry for this crap. I am sending you a hug.

  18. Mrs J January 31, 2011 at 1:41 pm #

    Here from the LFCA also, and totally feeling your pain. I have had 4 miscarriages, no idea of there was a heartbeat for the first 3 but there definitely was for the 4th which we lost at 10.5 weeks.

    It’s like a recurring nightmare isn’t it 😦 I’m extremely sorry for this shit that you are being dealt.

    xo

  19. Patience January 31, 2011 at 5:06 pm #

    Here from LCFA.

    I am so very sorry. You are in my thoughts.

  20. Jem January 31, 2011 at 6:11 pm #

    Here from LFCA. My heart goes out to you. What a shock that must have been.

    Please take care of yourself.

  21. Foxypopcorn January 31, 2011 at 10:05 pm #

    oh hun,
    I am so sad to read this, but holding so much hope in my heart. I’ve been thinking about you but away from the computer. I know that you want this so much and it is so unfair that the journey has to be so difficult.

    love – Foxy

  22. Janey February 1, 2011 at 9:10 am #

    So sorry to see your news on LFCA. x

  23. Jenn February 1, 2011 at 9:31 am #

    I’m so sorry.

    *LFCA

  24. mommyodyssey February 1, 2011 at 1:28 pm #

    Over from LFCA – so sorry to hear about this. But I have to say – get a second opinion. Blighted ovums are tricky to diagnose before 8 weeks. I’m not trying to get your hopes up – but just make sure your next US is with a different tech before you go for a D&C. Either way, my thoughts are with you. much love

  25. missohkay February 2, 2011 at 8:11 am #

    I’m here from LFCA. I’ve had three miscarriages and know well the feeling of wanting to hope but suspecting you shouldn’t. I’m hoping very much that you get to be one of the miracle stories we’ve all heard!

  26. Jessica February 2, 2011 at 11:38 am #

    Ugh, early ultrsounds have never been my friend. i hear you on the pain of it all… Visiting from LFCA and thinking of you…

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