Thanks, Mom (I know you at least meant well)

22 Jul

Is it me or have we all become magnets for fertility and pregnancy horror stories?  Now that I am in this select group my friends and family turn to me to talk about all the horrors they’ve heard happening to other people.  I think it is actually intended to give me hope, but I don’t know what to make of it.  Recently my mom told me how my sister knew someone who had had ten miscarriages and then had two healthy pregnancies followed by an extra they had by mistake.  Fuck!  Is this suppose to make feel better?    Actually what resonated to me from this was that the two of them are talking about me behind my back which just made me feel all the more pathetic.  Next I focused on the ten miscarriages.  I can’t even imagine.  I thought five was enough and I can’t bear the thought that I’m only half way there.  When stories like this are supposed to lift you up, you know you are in trouble.

*Update: Sorry to be so negative.  I think I need a massage.  Check out this kitten video which made me smile.  Aw!*


7 Responses to “Thanks, Mom (I know you at least meant well)”

  1. Mo July 22, 2011 at 3:50 pm #

    All I can say is “ugh.” I’ve been pelted with similar stories lately too. I know they mean well, but they sure are depressing. Ahh well. Let’s hope you become a story too. But only a 5 loss story. That’s enough, don’t you think?


    • starfishkittydreams July 22, 2011 at 5:04 pm #

      Thank you for commiserating. Unfortunately I think I have become a story, not a success story, more like ugly gossip, like “Did you hear Wendy had five miscarriages!? Glad I am not her! She is old, hopeless and should just give up now or adopt…” Not exactly the kind of stories I want to be in… I guess we all get that and have to just pretend we don’t care.

  2. missohkay July 22, 2011 at 6:59 pm #

    That kitty video made it all better until I showed my DH and he asked if there was a happy ending. Men! (Hugs to you for the horror stories.)

  3. Kristen July 23, 2011 at 12:41 pm #

    You are not the only one! Actually, it’s funny…when I hear these stories what I hear is: “Everyone ends up with a baby but you!” (Even though we’re not at the end of trying…still that’s my big fear, that’s we’ll go through all these years and procedures and money and still end up without a baby in the end.)
    Sorry you’re feeling negative today. Hugs to you!

  4. Another Dreamer July 23, 2011 at 7:52 pm #

    Ah hun (*hugs*) The stories are bad enough, but when they start talking about you too… I’ve been there, it stings 😦 Sorry.

    I also got the “so and so had 10 miscarriages then a baby” stories. For me the part that makes me really mad about those stories, is they’re being fed to me from women who have never lived through a miscarriage and have NO IDEA what it entails. I know they’re trying to offer hope, but not the best way to go about it. Ugh. And the fact they they’re reaching for stories about women who’ve had 10… yeah, that alone stings too.

    The video is super cute. Kitty massages are the best 😉

  5. Port of Indecision July 23, 2011 at 8:43 pm #

    I’m always tempted to reply something like, “Oh, so you mean I’ll only have to go through two and a half MORE years and five MORE miscarriages and maybe I’ll end up like your friend? Sign me up!!!”


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