What NOT to say

8 Sep

I was heading in to Safeway this afternoon to grab some milk when I bumped into an acquaintance.  She was excited to see me which perked me up, but then she got straight down to business.  “How is your testing?” she asked.  I had told her my story a few months ago when I was in a very sharing mood.  The question caught me totally off guard, esp. as a first question to start with.  I couldn’t remember exactly how much she already knew so  I just said something vague like “we are still doing the testing, no information yet” (that was my code for “thanks for your concern, now drop it!”).  From there she continued and I quote, “You really should be sure your expectations aren’t too high”.  At that moment my perky demeanor came to a screeching halt.  Seriously?  Are you really saying this to help?  From that point she proceeded to tell me of someone she met that had “lots of trouble for years” (whatever that means) and talked about how she ruined her marriage from wanting a baby too much, crying too much and being suicidally depressed.  Wow!  Thanks for sharing the story!  That really helps!  I hate dumping on people who mean well, but seriously I can’t see how anyone would think advice like “keep your expectations low” and “don’t be like the suicidally depressed person” are really all that helpful.  To boot, the person telling the story had her first child last year.  WTF!

5 Responses to “What NOT to say”

  1. jjiraffe September 8, 2011 at 9:37 pm #

    Ugh. It’s like she verbally vomited on you. What a nightmare and I’m sorry. I really don’t know why people think they can say these awful things to us, but it really needs to stop.

  2. bodegabliss September 9, 2011 at 12:27 pm #

    Ugh. I don’t like this person very much. At all, really.

  3. missohkay September 10, 2011 at 9:55 am #

    I’m laughing yet it’s not funny. What a twat!

  4. Mo September 11, 2011 at 11:40 am #

    OMG what a total asshat. Seriously. I hate people like that. So presumptuous. Ick.

  5. Port of Indecision September 16, 2011 at 6:25 pm #

    People don’t seem to understand that there are inside thoughts, and there are outside thoughts.

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