What is up down there?

10 Jan

I couldn’t take the weird bleeding anymore so today, CD 24, I went in to my RE for a peak downstairs and her best guesses.  It turns out that I still have a corpus luteal cyst on my left side.  What is that doing there?  She suggested that it is possible that I may have not even ovulated for the month.  Either way, if the cyst doesn’t go away I definitely can’t try next month with letrazole (Femara).  This is a big blow because I got pregnant on month 2 using that same drug for the past 3 pregnancies and this is month 2.  So that didn’t go as planned.  Mr. Star and I agreed to take it to the next level if we couldn’t get pregnant naturally after 2 months so now I am thinking about IUI and IVF, stuff I got to avoid because we were lucky in the conception area in the past.  Mr. Star has since said- “Let’s try for month three!” but I feel like I am just losing time and my clock is ticking louder than ever.  Throughout all this I felt very lucky to conceive naturally but I also knew that one of these days my luck would run out and I worry that it already has.  Sure we could try again, but if it doesn’t work, then what?  Another month lost, is what I am thinking.  It’s like how long do you keep pulling the slot machine arm before you just walk away from it and either quit or try something else. It always feels like I am just one month away from something and as you can tell by my tone I am worried that I am just burning too much time this way and freaking out that I have so little left.  IVF and IUI won’t solve my RPL but it might at least accelerate things that are going way too slow.  Either way I have another 7 days or so to ride out this cycle and hope my body goes back to normal again.

On a hopeful note, since my “real” period hasn’t started as evidenced by my thick lining there is still a chance that I could be pregnant.  Given the bleeding, my unusual ovulation timing and the fact I was told to stop the progesterone makes it seem pretty unlikely.   But one can always hope.

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2 Responses to “What is up down there?”

  1. Hope January 11, 2012 at 7:37 am #

    Oh no! That sounds so frustrating. I was really hoping that the Femera would do the trick on cycle 2 again this time for you. Of course, I’ll keep my fingers crossed that you actually are pregnant in spite of the cyst, but I know the chances of that are pretty low.

    It must be really hard to be facing IUI and IVF and all the decisions and complications they bring with them as much more real possibilities now. (((Hugs)))

  2. bodegabliss January 14, 2012 at 10:22 am #

    That is really frustrating about the cyst and not being able to do Femara. I’m so sorry. Stupid cysts! They’ve been making my life hell for years now. I can also understand a little bit about how you feel that you’re losing time. I know that I’m still okay with time, but I feel so much pressure with Tim being older. He doesn’t give me that pressure, but I definitely give it to myself. But also, for me, and I’m sure you can agree with this as you’ve been at it more than twice as long, I’ve just put so much effort and time into it already, I feel like I’m running out of the energy to do it much longer. Do you feel that, too? It sucks that we have to feel that on top of everything else.

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