Back in the game

30 Jan

Thank you all so much for your support on my last post.  It just means the world to know that I am not the only one who feels alone in this.

After a cycle that was a complete bust (unclear if I ovulated at all, abnormal early bleeding) I am happy to report that my hope is renewed. We have a clean slate this cycle and a good start.  We got the clear to try again with Femara last week and we saw two big follicles on my right ovary on Saturday at our mid cycle checkup.  I know an OPK at home is really all you need, but there is something about actually seeing the follicles on the screen that just boosted my confidence.   After so many bad pregnancy ultrasounds these mid-cycle scans are the only ones I can honestly say I look forward to, proof that my body can do something right.  On a more optimistic side, I like to hope that if things work out I can have memories of my child before they were even conceived!

My RE said they looked ready to go any minute now, and sure enough the next morning my OPK gave me the double lines to confirm the surge.  I could even feel some aching down there in the ovary zone confirming something was definitely going on.  With three days in a row of trying, I’d say we’ve done all we can and now it is just up to time, fate and some higher power to decide if this month will grace us with a positive pee stick.  There is a lot of pressure on this cycle because we decided to move ahead with IVF for our next cycle.  I think it is the right way to go after four years of trying this naturally, but it’s a whole new ball game and not one I thought I’d  have to get into after having being able to conceive naturally five times already.  It’s not clear that we would have better odds with IVF to prevent miscarriage, but it would just (hopefully) speed up the rate at which I am getting pregnant.  Hopefully between the immunology treatments, the natural cycle and the IVF we’ll have a healthy normal pregnancy sometime soon and if we are really lucky it makes it out alive.  Two week wait here we come!


Post Continued>

Thanks guys.  Just when I thought I had it all together I just got hit with another giddy pregnancy announcement at a group dinner.  Forcing a smile hurt as much as ever.  Do those announcements ever get any easier?


4 Responses to “Back in the game”

  1. Mo January 30, 2012 at 1:22 pm #

    Here’s hoping you won’t need that IVF! Crossing all fingers and toes!

  2. bodegabliss January 30, 2012 at 3:00 pm #

    I’m so happy to hear you are feeling more hopeful. I don’t know how we are able to muster it up sometimes, but it’s always good when it comes back. I remain hopeful for you, and I don’t see that ever waning. 🙂

  3. Misfit Mrs. January 30, 2012 at 4:39 pm #

    Everything possible crossed for this cycle! It’s on.

  4. mrs. brightside January 31, 2012 at 9:40 pm #

    Wishing you good things for this cycle, and no more stupid pregnancy announcements. Every time I think I’ve become immune to them, one comes around the corner and knocks me on my ass. Every announcement seems to really be saying, “see??? see how easy it is? what the hell is YOUR problem?”

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