Archive | February, 2012

Can we keep our pants on please?

16 Feb

It is starting to feel real, like this is really going to happen.  We brought ourselves to the IVF doc for the first face-to-face appointment and I somehow mustered up a brave face (after days of complete despair and self-pity and “why me’s”).

It began with the financial consultation.  We went in knowing the costs for the most part, resigned that this is just where we are now, paying to get pregnant, no more freebies.  Sniff.  While she was listing off the services and prices I had to brace myself to not be overwhelmed.  This is the first really expensive procedure we’ve encountered during this journey.  I feel both lucky and unlucky about that.  It is what it is at this point.

Next came the first u/s follicle count with the Doctor.  The nurse repeated that this would be a transvaginal ultrasound with emphasis on vaginal.  After having a million of these things up in my business I forgot there was any other kind of ultrasound out there.  Her warning as if I was new to this brought me back memories of my first time… (dream sequence music here) Do you remember your first time?  I know it sounds kind of dirty when I say it that way.  I am almost nostalgic remembering  my first, back when I was like “you are putting that thing where??? ”  I’ve actually heard fertiles complain about it being one of the worst parts of pregnancy.   Ha!  I too naively thought it was a big deal, Ha, Ha, back when I was merely on pregnancy #1, so young and naive…  It’s amazing what things we get used to and accept as normal and no big deal along this journey!

Mr. Star and I eagerly waited in the exam room for the Dr. first excited and nervous and then bored, and then (at least for me) annoyed and impatient.  We waited for thirty minutes.  It’s not a big deal, esp. if you have a real chair and you get to keep your pants on.  Sorry, this is just a little pet peeve of mine that has been happening a lot lately.  Why do they ask you to disrobe so early?  I promise I can strip off my pants in 60 seconds if I get to keep them on while I wait, esp. if you need me to wait a bit longer.  Is it me, or is there no way to get comfortable being half naked and bleeding while sitting on an exam table for a long time.   Again, the things we tolerate.  What choice is there?

When the Dr. finally arrived he was really professional and calming which set the right tone.  When it came time to do the u/s we actually had some good news.  The follicle count was higher than average for my age.  He said I had Polycystic Ovaries, but not PCOS.  This sounded like good news at first, but then he was expressing concern that it may be a sign of other issues such as insulin response.  He prescribed Metformin to help manage this.  I started my first dose today (and had my first 500mg about twenty minutes ago).  So far so good, but apparently the side effects are pretty rough- nausea, vomiting, cramps and diarrhea.  I start with a low dose and work up in the hopes that I can learn to tolerate it.  I already feel a bit light headed and funky.  Damn, that was fast!  I also start the birth control pills today.  They gave me Reclipsen by Watson.  Not one I recognize, but what the hell.  It’s probably the most benign drug I’ll be taking during this experience so I can’t get all up and worried about it.

They left me with a long list of to-do’s, including scheduling another saline ultrasound.  I literally passed out during the last one from the pain.  Any suggestions on how to make it suck a little less?  So far my plan is to just beg for drugs to dull the pain and relax my nerves.


Pregnancy #6?

13 Feb

This morning I got an unequivical no.  I am crestfallen after trying for a third month.  I knew my luck on getting pregnant naturally (with Femara) wouldn’t last forever.  We are officially throwing in the towel on trying naturally again and moving to Plan B (IVF).  It’s a big step and one I never wanted to take and naively thought I wouldn’t have to given how “lucky” I was to get pregnant quickly before.  It’s  hard tear-filled morning.  Is there any light at the end of this tunnel, seriously?