Archive | September, 2012

Lucky Number Seven

30 Sep

We got good news today!  I tested positive yet again.  This time I skipped the POAS and just went straight to the blood test which showed my hcg has a strong start with a count of 508.   What a welcome phone call that was!   I am trying to contain myself.  I know the odds were against us as we only implanted one, so I am counting myself very very lucky.

We still have a long climb ahead of us, but for now I am just that our little “perfectly chromosomally normal” embryo is happily growing along.  I can’t believe it made it all the way to implantation after all the poking and freezing and thawing it’s been through.  So grateful, so hopeful.  This time little one, I believe in you.  :  )

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What’s new

24 Sep

After our last heartbreaking loss, a long break from blogging and a lot of  confusion and soul searching about next steps we are back to trying again.  In August we went ahead with another IVF cycle.   Since we transferred and lost the only two that had tested chromosomally “normal”  back in May we had to start all over again.  We tried a few different things this time hoping for something better.  The two big changes were a new test and a new diet.

For this new cycle we requested chromosomal testing on Day 5/6.  In our first IVF cycle in April we tested on Day 3 (per our Dr.’s recommendation) and since then multiple sources have advised that that type of testing is not reliable.  Even though our IVF Dr. has a lot of confidence in Day 3 testing, he seems to be pretty alone.  The theory is that there just aren’t enough cells on Day 3 to get enough information.  In comparison, on Day 5 there are hundreds of cells and more evidence that the tests are consistant and reliable.  In any case, just surviving to Day 5 is a test of embryo health in itself.  So we agreed to to move ahead for another cycle with the same IVF Dr. but this time with Day 5 testing, which meant that we had to do a frozen transfer instead of fresh stretching the whole process out over multiple months and upping the number of steps, expenses, etc.  The lesson I learned, don’t bother with Day 3 testing.

The second twist we added was a change in my diet.  I gave up gluten, dairy and coffee and followed a pretty strict PCOS diet for the time leading up to the egg retrieval.  Despite all the things I’ve done on this journey, this was by far one of the most intensive.  Since I had a real goal with a deadline I was able to manage it, but it was still very challenging.  In addition to my own natural temptations for all things bready/cakey and creamy it was challenging.   My IVF Dr. recommended “cutting down” on dairy and carbs because of my diagnosis of polycystic ovaries, but it was really my idea to go cold turkey like that.  It was one of the few things I had heard might help so I figured it was about time to try something since I was feeling desperate for any action I could take to up our chances.  Since egg quality and embryo quality are the likely suspects with women of my age it felt actually empowering to do something active and take control of my diet.

It was hard enough on my own, but in social situations, travelling, going out to eat, etc. it became something I had to address.  At first I was really shy about what I was doing, but people got curious and it just made it easier to be up front.  I just said I was giving up dairy and gluten for “fertility-reasons” and that was pretty much all I had to say.  One thing I learned- people love talking about foods they are avoiding and why.  And for the first time friends and family could actually “help” me on this journey by making suggestions for gluten-free, dairy-free alternatives.  So much of this journey I am on my own, so whenever someone voluntarily prepared or offered gluten-free/dairy-free foods (esp. desserts) I was so touched.

So what happened?  At the time of our retrieval we were able to collect 16 eggs, a higher number than our first cycle.  Of these 11 made it to Day 5 for testing.  An astonishing 50% came back as chromosomally normal!  He warned us in advance that we should expect only 30% at the most and I was prepping myself for an even lower number.  So in the end we had a higher number of embryos retrieved, with higher quality (more making it to Day 5) and a whopping 50% normal rate which is statistically way above what you would expect from someone of my age.   With such high numbers we didn’t get any clarification about why we are having so many losses, but it did at least help give us confidence that something is working right and we can put the thoughts of an egg donor to rest for now.  Since the only big change in the protocol from last time to this time is my gluten-free/dairy-free diet, my Dr. is crediting this with upping our numbers and quality and as a result I am (sadly) still on the diet.  Perhaps it was just a coincidence, perhaps it made a difference, who knows…

With 6 embryos banked,  our Dr. recommended that our best chances were still with a surrogate.  However, given that there were more than 2 banked he thought it was reasonable to give my body one last shot at baby making.  So that is where we are.  We transfered a single embryo last Thursday.  Per his recommendation, we didn’t want to waste more than one of our supposedly perfect embryos on my iffy uterus.  It made it out of the thaw ok (something I was worried about) and is hopefully making magic in my nether regions as we speak.  Our first beta is this Sunday and I am praying for some good news.

This second cycle was a lot less dramatic than the first.  I got over my bitterness giving up natural conception, something I thought we had going for us.  And I knew what to expect with the injections and procedures.  Instead of wallowing in “poor  me” I felt like I had matured to just take it and move ahead.  After considering egg donors and surrogates, “conventional” IVF seemed so normal and gave me hope that maybe there was still hope to carry my own genetic baby.  At this moment, both doors are still open and I have been able to delay that decision.  Surrogacy is still out there as an option, (a very complicated and expensive option), but I couldn’t go there without at least giving this one last shot.