About Me

Love kitties

I started this blog last year when I met someone in my Resolve Support group that meets in Palo Alto.  She told me that blogging has been one of the few pleasures in this difficult journey.  I signed up on WordPress that night and I totally agree.  If you stop by once or regularly, comment or not, I just want to say thank you for stopping by and give you my sympathies if you can relate to my experiences on this road to starting a family.  While it’s not fun, it’s definitely better with support from others going through it too.

With each pregnancy I thought, “This is it!  I am finally off this hell train!”  We’ve been trying for 3+ years and have had 4 miscarriages.  No IVF or IUI were involved, but I did take meds for the last two (Femara is magic!).   I am 37 and having all the anxieties I’d heard about, the biological clock ticking, the fear of the question “How are you doing?”  “When are you going to have kids?”, etc. So it’s clear we are in it for the long haul and my blog is here for anyone interested in hearing about our journey along the way.

 

Why StarFishKitty Dreams?

Starfish having some fun

I love starfish, esp. the chunky “Sugar Stars” that look like they are dancing and having a good time.  They just make me smile.  I collect them and have a few for decoration in my house.  Get two together and it’s like a party…

I also love kitties.  Our cat is our baby, especially these days since we can’t seem to actually have a biological baby.  He’s getting older and more fragile (15 years old!) and recently was diagnosed with kitty lymphoma.  The vet estimates he has about another 1-2 years to go.  He requires expensive chemo meds every three weeks and daily steroid medications (just liquid, no injections).   Now that he is fragile and requires more care he is playing right into my own need to be a nurturer.  We both win!  We can spoil him and he’s our little surrogate baby.

Our Kitty/Surrogate Child

So why not combine them together to make a kickass username?  So there it is.  Oddly “starfishkitty” was already taken so I added on the dreams part which just makes it even more random.  Sorry I don’t have a better story for the last part ;  )

I originally named the blog “Waiting for Baby”, but after loss #4 decided I needed to stop defining myself by my miscarriages.  It just sounded too pathetic even for me, like I was putting my life on hold.  I thought, “Life continues to go on with or without a baby, so I’d better just get used to it and my blog title needs to reflect that”.  Certainly there is more to all of us than infertility, miscarriage and the unfulfilled desire to become a mother.

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4 Responses to “About Me”

  1. Foxypopcorn March 12, 2011 at 8:06 pm #

    beautifully written.

  2. Rach March 12, 2011 at 9:33 pm #

    i agree, beautifully written. i’m glad to read that you’re recognising that you are more than your losses – it took me a long time to realise that and while i’m not at ease with it all the time, most days i’m good.

    ~x~

  3. negativenelly June 10, 2011 at 1:36 pm #

    love the “new” look. And I love the recognition that you’re more than a “mom-to-be”. Hoping for the best for you and Mr. Starfish!

  4. kkwg August 2, 2011 at 1:40 pm #

    Thanks for stopping by for the good wishes! ❤ I wish you luck on your journey as well.

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